Futile Fantasy

Two little words that mean less than I,
The lack of feeling in your eyes makes my heart need to fly.
The deepest of yearning, the sorrow with which you speak,
Stalks the demons in my head during my ever darkest streak.
Following my deepest thoughts down into an eternal black hole, 
I wish forever to be away from that which takes it's toll.


Ignorance and pain, they can both live hand in hand,
Together, yet so far apart thrust in this foreign land,
So far from a homely voice, an ever loving touch,
The coldness of my soul sighs to the shatters of which I clutch.
Emotions so intense they crush my mind under such weight,
A despair so hungry for my soul, egregious an attempt to satiate.


Darkness becomes the sacrosanct,
I breathe through it with such consequence,
Few know the true road of the unknown and unfair,
Yet so many walk along the same train tracks in mid-air.
Souls from lives past lay frozen beneath a rocky path of life,
Sucked into an oblivion through the lonesome blackness in their strife,
Yet others walk away unscathed, unaffected by the trials of which they fight!


If only we were all spared such torment from this land,
The chance to all walk towards the future, forever hand in hand,
But such dreamy tales of fanciful thoughts amount to nothing in this world
For as I know inside such minds, a cruel lifeless void can unfurl


- Rose

The Gift

Always life is a gift
Clutched in nature's arms we exist
With unclear purpose nor reason
Untold destiny and fate
Happiness thrives inside love, dies inside hate
Though depths of the mind may make life negate
A gentle touch of kindness and warmth can elate


Life is to be cherished, a gift to be sustained
With love's often embrace through all of time's refrain
Life must be endured throughout the anguish and the pain
But to ease such aching sorrow through life's rocky lane
Are gifts to ourselves in our desperate times of strife
Like the warmth of compassion, empathy, the laughter in our lives

So look up and around, take in all you see and knew

As the wonders of living are all around you

-  Rose

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This poem is probably a bit hippy-ish. It is about gratitude for what is around us. 

On the 2nd December, it was one year since I tried to end my life, and I began to think what had changed for me since then. For me, often the beauty and positivity in this world gets lost in the hatred, death and misery that surrounds us daily. Sometimes our minds and emotions become hardened, apathetic to what we see.  With such negativity that surrounds us, it can be easy to overwhelm and overload ourselves with negativity, making it harder to see the good things in life through the ever more dense fog that is depression.  But the positives are still there.. they just need to be found. 

:)

Cynical Innocent

I used to believe love to be pure

The kind of thing that lasts evermore

I always believed it to be like the dove

Like the wholesome beauty of "All You Need Is Love"

But now my heart, it aches and it bleeds

As I watch while my beloved one leaves

It is cracked, bitter, cynical and sore

Yet still innocent, naive, virtuous and pure

I gave each of you all of my trust

To be delivered with all of my sorrow and lust

Yet by all, I am used and discarded too

Treated painfully without issue

But now as I write, lyric and rhyme, I realise one day I will see

At once all the love that is meant for me

So this cynical innocent believes once again, it will be like the dove

And the only thing you'll ever need in this life is love

-   Rose

Dearly Parted - A poem about grief

Whirlwinds of memories pass me through
I sit, I stare and I wait for you
Fallen leaves are teardrops of the season on the ground
Autumnal breezes linger on without sound


Above the skies, emptiness begins
So beautiful the swirling heavens, a mystery within
Yet in this time, so cold and bitter is the frost
Eternally you sit above, you who are all I have lost


The warmth of the world where you are now, no living thing can follow
Such a sobering thought for the soul, the love in sorrow
The day your light left this place on Earth
Is the day my life left all it's mirth


For gone are you, my beloved friend 
In my heart you will be, til the bitter end.


_______________________________________




Unfortunately, everybody experiences grief at some time in their life. The loss of a loved one is never easy, the road of grief is paved with such hardness and sorrow.  We all react to grief in different ways, and it can course through us in waves.  One thing we can do is to remain strong and be united with others who share in feeling grief. 


My love goes to everyone who has ever felt grief.
Rose xxx

Untitled Poem 1

The days I sit
Pondering this gift
Does this world mean less than this?
The lesser of life, the dredge of humanity
The resolve of love, of money, of sanity
The calm of ignorance
The salt without sea
Leaves with that of a bitter taste in me
Is life so sacrosanct to properly see?




- Rose

A Poem From My Heart

I say lets run away together to give our love a chance
Worlds away the lucky in love, in your blue sapphire hues we dance


Magical heavens open my eyes to your mind
As a wonder of you travels all down my spine
Life explodes through electric waves,
Covers burning deep inside
Locked in my heart you stay


Though Autumn scars cease to exist
When the summer of you brings me such bliss
You entwine with the starlight that shines in your eyes
Bohemian breezes, they cannot disguise
The eminent flourishes encompassing my heart
That shine, falling deeply into your subtle art


A deep knowing of certain loving denial
Detached from lovers from long lost miles
Imperfect moments such distant memories
Dulled perfection lies in between our seas
Goodbyes in horror of old scarred hearts
From the past, I am reborn, again I start


You are my thoughts
You are my mind
You are a gift to the grace of life
You are my love
So wondrous, so kind.


- Rose

Random Thought

Sometimes you need to give up

Sometimes you need to fall

Sometimes you just can't carry on

But when no-one's there to fill your heart

Love might well be a poisonous dart.

- Rose